You’re gone, and so am I

Evening darl. This means of trying to stay connected to you has been a mistake. I can’t be honest with you or me. I can’t say what I really think. I’m talking to you but others read my words and so, at times like these, when all the words of my heart are born in bloody-minded rage or boundless despair, I risk hurting those who have already been injured by this shitty show called life.

I know now there are no answers, no comfort, no end. Heaven was any place where we were together, and Hell is any place where we are apart. We’ve both been fucked over in this deal. We’re both grieving, lost, angry, desperate. No one, nothing, can change this.

Everything we had was taken from us. Even memories hurt. Beauty hurts. Love hurts.

You’re gone. I’m gone. We’re gone.


About cancerwidow

My husband died on 11 Feb 2011. I'm trying to figure out where I go from here.
This entry was posted in grief, not coping, widow and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to You’re gone, and so am I

  1. chrysalis42 says:

    Just hearing you…

  2. megan says:

    don’t know if you get notices when someone comments now, but I have been thinking of you. Hi.

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